Wake me in the morning

Ring ring _____ ring ring

2007-08-22T03:39:00.001-07:00

The person you are calling is unavailable.

Do you ever go on msn just to see if anyone has anything to say?
Maybe it just makes people feel good. To know that they're connected. Other people can see that they are there. They can exist outside their own self.

What do you think happens after you die?
Sometimes I hope for nothing, sometimes something. Something so I am not gone completely, so there is a reason for existing the way I do. But nothing for the peace, the nothingness; the past won't matter, the future won't matter.

What is the purpose of bad things happening?
To help us learn. To make us value the good things. To make us work harder. To make us wake up. To give us a nameable reason to cry. To remind us of reality.

Summer or Winter?
Now I know you'll say Summer, because it's Winter at the moment. But when Summer comes you'll remember how much you love Winter now that it's gone. It's like when someone take for granted dies. Except people don't come back.

What are you doing to do with life?
So many things that can be lived in so many different ways. Careers, friendships, words, loves, drinks, travels, beds, dinners, children, shoes, parties, videos, sports, jokes.
Cover all bases. Try everything.
Never completely devote yourself to one thing. Because you never know when that one thing might fall apart.

What would you do if you were in the water with a shark?
Try to swim away? Stay still and try to remain inconspicuous? Stay and FIGHT?
I think if you could clamp your hands over its gills and fucking hold on for dear life you may be able to effectively suffocate it. But that would take a lot of guts. And holding on.

What would you give up?
What's it being given up for? For the happiness a friend. For the life of a stranger. For the future of a baby you've never met. When you think about it most of the stuff we've got isn't that important. It wouldn't be too hard to live without it. But it's comforting to know that it's there I guess.....just incase someone ever walks up to you with a gun and says "Give me all your books and shoes or the happiness of your friend gets it!"

What am I doing?
Procrastinating again I guess. And still getting told that damn "the person you are calling is unavailable" crap.

If you have any answers to the above questions then share them with me. Sharing is Caring. Be anonymous if you want (just incase you feel like saying that your friend's happiness means nothing to you or something)

Goodbye
-emily-
__x__

listen to me be angry

2007-07-30T06:12:00.000-07:00

Man.
See the thing I hate about school is just how frickin stupid the whole system is.
Particularly the VCE component of it.
These are why:

- Art gets marked down 5. This is shit because believe it or not art can be quite a difficult subject to be good at sometimes. And i'm sure that they would say something like "Oh we believe that blah blah blah blah" for their reason as to why they mark it down so much when really i'm sure that half the reason is just because art is considered to be a 'non-academic' subject. So even if you do spend half your lunchtimes and frees in the artroom trying to do well it'll end up counting for shit because its 'non-academic' and even if you do get a 35 you'll still only end up with a 30.

- They place so much emphasis on getting a great Enter that it makes it seem like the end of the world if you don't. Thus, people freak out and have breakdowns.

- They make us decide at age 17/18 effectively our path for the rest of our lives. This is stupid. Half the people at this age are still trying to work out roughly where they even fit in this world, i'm sure it can't help to then say "Hey, so even though you dont really know who you are or what you're here for I just need you to write down about 12 things you might want to do that will shape your entire life......but no pressure"

- They do all this scaling and ranking bullshit. Why not just give you the score you get at the end of doing your subjects and leave it at that? And I know there is probably a perfectly good reason for all of that so just don't tell me because I don't want to know it really. But seriously, all it does is turn the whole thing into a competition. Again, more pressure.

Anyway here is an example using the subjects that I do and how they get scaled. (basically i'm whinging cos most of mine go down. yep) And I'm going on the assumption that I get 35 for every subject here, just as an example.
Studio art: 35 --> 30
Health and Human Development: 35 --> 31
Further Maths: 35 --> 32
English: 35 --> 34
Literature: 35 --> 36
Psych (last year): 34 --> 32

I dunno quite what I'm trying to get at here. Just it kind of sucks really. For me anyway. So maybe I should stop complaining.
But I just would really like to get somewhere from 80-85. This needs roughly a 35ish average which means i'm going to need to get high 30's for all my subjects.
And as for art, I need a 30 in that if I want to get into the course that I want. At the moment all my art sucks shit so my chances aren't looking too up.
Therefore my life shall = fail.

Wah sorry. I'm just pissed off and going on and on and really I know it's not a huge deal and I'm just turning it into one. But everybody needs their time of crisis every now and then right?

Ok. I'll leave it at that for now.
Might potentially do a music post or something soon if I can find any good music to share.
Sorry if everyone is now thinking "shutup emily you whiny little whorebag"
Bye
x

Broaden my Horizons + Wonderful reads

2007-05-29T23:52:00.000-07:00

Hello
I've been quite slack lately. Quite busy with SACs and birthday and formal etc etc too so there's my excuse.
Anyway I was thinking that I feel like writing myself some more lists (weird thing I do a lot) and so I was wondering if you could tell me what I should do with my life.
Give me a good book, movie, thing to make, draw, anything. But give me a reason as to why I should. (eg dont just give me a name of a book, tell me why you liked it/why I might like it)

Here is a few books that I recommend to you all:

Interview with the Vampire - Anne Rice
Fantastic movie. Even better as a book. It's like an amazing drama (not the stupid kind) but about vampires. It's narrated by a vampire called Louis, who is also one of the main characters. It takes the classic vampire story past just blood and gore and gives them lives and emotions etc. Seriously amazing book.

Oryx and Crake - Margaret Atwood
(not like her other books, if you didnt like them) Very strange book. It's about a man who has survived the end of the human race and lives amongst these "perfect people'' who were designed by scientists. The story is about him travelling to where it all started (or ended I guess) and there's lots of flashbacks along the way which tell the story of how the world came to be how it is. It's written really well.
It also deals alot with human's interference with genetic engineering and cloning and such things. There is a lot of it that shows a very perverse side of humanity I thought.
(Also, Amy C if you see this, can i get that back off you some time soon?)

Coraline - Neil Gaiman
This is like a childrens novel that you would not let a child read. It's really quite creepy and surreal. About a little girl whose parents dont pay that much attention to her, and she slips through a door into an alternate universe where her mother has black buttons for eyes and captures children's souls and there is evil dancing rats and a big slug-like monster. It's good for a quick read but leaves you feeling a bit odd afterwards.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
Yes, it is actually called that. This is one of my favourite books. It's narrated by this 15 yr old kid who I think has some sort of autism and he is quite socially inept but he's really smart with maths and science. It's a "murder mystery" about this dog that he finds murdered. I really like the way that it's written and it's got cute little diagrams and pictures that "he" included. Also weird fact: all of the chapters are only in Prime Numbers because the main character likes prime numbers.

The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
A really sad but interesting book about this girl who was raped and murdered. The story is told from her perspective up in heaven while she watches her family and friends cope in the years after her death and as she comes to terms with her own dear. The idea of heaven in the book is really interesting too.
(I just wikipedia-ed this and apparently there might be a movie being made by Peter Jackson. Cool)
(another thing I just read: the author was raped when she was in uni)

The Dark Materials trilogy (Northern Lights, The Subtle Knife, The Amber Spyglass) - Philip Pullman
I havent read these for a while but I have read them twice and loved them both times. It's all about alternate worlds and stuff but it's not at all sci-fi and only a tiny bit sciency. It's about this girl called Lyra (nice name) and her daemon (it's like an animal creature that is part of you but a separate being, its like your personality in animal shape) and....ok its too hard to explain without writing heaps or making it sound boring but I promise it's not! Ah the end of the last book broke my heart. So sad.
According to wikipedia this book addresses things such as physics (ooh), philosophy and a bit of theology. (Bags the Christian and Catholic churches a lot, and has some god and angel figures)
Ahgeueshg yay! Movie of this is coming out in December. Fuckin oath they'd better do a good job of it...or I'll kick their faces in.
If you want to know more go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/His_Dark_Materials

Anyone else who's read these books, back me up!
And if you need better descriptions then just Wikipedia them.

Anyway yes...that went a bit longer than I expected. Hopefully some of you might read some of these books and enjoy them as much as I did.
Goodbye
-Emily
x

Try, fail and try again.

2007-05-06T01:14:00.000-07:00

I don't know how to edit old posts so I'm just going to re-do the old music one that didnt work pretty much exactly the same except hopefully this one will work.
I'm leaving Fisheye out because it worked in the last post. But it's an awesome song so you should go and get it.

Miserere - The Cat Empire
http://www.sendspace.com/file/q7dhda
This is by The Cat Empire but is quite different from a lot of their songs. This one is slow and soft with piano and trumpet and very very nice lyrics

Konstantine - Something Corporate
http://www.sendspace.com/file/d212wg
This song holds a record for the only song that I have liked for a long period of time (since yr 10) without getting bored of it ever. That's a fair effort since most songs for me last about a month.It goes for around 9 minutes and is just piano and the guy singing and it's lovely. It also has some beautiful lyrics.

Magic Dance - David Bowie
http://www.sendspace.com/file/0wfy5z
I cant help it. I'm a sucker for David Bowie in the Labryinth. You can't really get past this song either. Man.

This Title Stays in Harlem - Julez Santana + Linkin Park + Fort Minor
http://www.sendspace.com/file/9jazob
Ok I'm not actually sure what this is called or who it's by. I'm fairly sure it's what I said up there. It's cool because it has the guitar bit from Sweet Child of Mine and a good beat. I dunno, it amuses me.

I am the God of Hell Fire - Arthur Brown
http://www.sendspace.com/file/m4d3b4
I am the God of Hell Fire.....what more can I say really?This is a suprisingly fun song actually. It makes me want to dance.

And Finally:

The First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes
http://www.sendspace.com/file/o69nk3
I know his voice can get very annoying. But really this is the sweetest song. If you want to supersize it's cuteness then go Youtube the filmclip. Ah it makes me so happy.

Damn i'm gonna be angry if this one doesnt work either.

Everyone. Deserves Music. Sweet Music.

2007-04-30T02:25:00.000-07:00

Here I am copying Lauren (http://misplacedmilk.blogspot.com/)'s idea.
I am making a music post of a couple of good songs.
I dont know how to make the links say the song's name. But oh well.
To download the songs just click on the link in the blog and then on the page it takes you to just click the little (it actually is quite small) "Download Link" thing with a flashy orange arrow. Then simply save it to your files. Easy.

Miserere - The Cat Empire
http://www.sendspace.com/file/q7dhda
This is by The Cat Empire but is quite different from a lot of their songs. This one is slow and soft with piano and trumpet and very very nice lyrics

Konstantine - Something Corporate
http://www.sendspace.com/file/d212wg
This song holds a record for the only song that I have liked for a long period of time (since yr 10) without getting bored of it ever. That's a fair effort since most songs for me last about a month.
It goes for around 9 minutes and is just piano and the guy singing and it's lovely. It also has some beautiful lyrics.

Magic Dance - David Bowie
http://www.sendspace.com/file/0wfy5z
I cant help it. I'm a sucker for David Bowie in the Labryinth. You can't really get past this song either. Man.

This Title Stays in Harlem - Julez Santana + Linkin Park + Fort Minor
http://www.sendspace.com/file/9jazob
Ok I'm not actually sure what this is called or who it's by. I'm fairly sure it's what I said up there. It's cool because it has the guitar bit from Sweet Child of Mine and a good beat. I dunno, it amuses me.

Fisheye - Apolcalyptica
http://www.sendspace.com/file/c1miae
This is like a more hardcore and better and male-er version of Bond. It's a band who play pretty much solely on cellos and those types of intstruments (plus a drum). This is the good I like to listen to when I run. This band also does great covers of Metallica's stuff. Maybe if I do another one of these I'll put one up.

I am the God of Hell Fire - Arthur Brown
http://www.sendspace.com/file/dgdebo
I am the God of Hell Fire.....what more can I say really?
This is a suprisingly fun song actually. It makes me want to dance.

And Finally:

The First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes
http://www.sendspace.com/file/o69nk3
I know his voice can get very annoying. But really this is the sweetest song. If you want to supersize it's cuteness then go Youtube the filmclip. Ah it makes me so happy.

Hope you enjoy.
Give me feedback to what you loved/hated.
Cya
-Emily x

the woes of school

2007-04-23T02:01:00.000-07:00

Here I am.
Once again procrastinating from doing my homework. This is really not the way to go about getting an 80 or 85 or whatever I want but oh well. I've written half a big long English essay tonight. That's at least something right?

I have kind of realised now that I'm in year 12 and actually should do some work (yes, it has taken me 3 months to realise this).
The thing that I hate is how everyone places so much weight on this year so that we all burn out and die more than we would have if they had just said "Hey, this might be really good for your future if you do well, but you're not going to become a worthless failure if you don't"
So many people have told me that in 10 years time you'll never even think about what you got as an enter, or how well you did in English or Maths or whatever it is that you do.
I mean, sure, your enter is what gets you into uni and maybe sets you up for a future etc etc etc. But even if you don't get the enter that you want or need, that's not the end of the world because there are ways around the system, or there are other options which might be equally as good, if not better.

Myself? As I've already said before, I want to be an Art Teacher. This needs an enter of 76 or something. I'm fairly sure that I'm capable of doing this without completely busting my ass all year. I hope...
I'd also need a kickass folio to get into the Art section of it. And do well in the interview.

(By the way, I have this bit of paper with some stuff on it and I can tell you roughly what you'll need an average of in all your subjects to get a certain enter. So let me know if there is one that you want and I can work it out. Alternatively there is app...fuck I want waffles with maple syrup and icecream right now...anyway there is apparently a calculator on the net somewhere)

This is getting pretty stupidly long for something that doesnt really say much. So I'll go now.
Bye everyone

ps. I am soon hopefully going to steal Lauren's idea and try and stick some music and pictures and crap on here. If I can work out how to do it that is.

Some links

2007-04-14T19:57:00.000-07:00

Here are some links for you. Most are of some artistic quality. Some are interesting products that I liked/gave me a laugh.
All of them I enjoyed very much

http://www.clemenskogler.net/film/grandcontent.htm Cute and kind of sad in a way. It talks about the meaning of life and stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bggFBWn7YoI&eurl = Very cute ad about a kid who needs a soccer buddy

http://stellaimhultberg.com/ Beautiful paintings. Watercolour I think. AND you can buy prints for only $25 (plus $2.50 shipping) I want "I'd Fly The River" so much. Wahh.

http://www.concertotable.com/ Wow. This is really taking Ipod accessories to the extreme.

http://www.nike.com/nikegolf/juiceball/ Exploding shit with a golfball in slowmotion

http://www.writtenonthecity.com/random.php Pictures of quotes and words written on cities all over the world.
If anyone looks at this and happens to see one that says "Draw your Own Conclusions" can you pleaaase save it and send it to me? I saw it on the random button and accidently went past it and then I wanted it back and it was gone.

That's enough.
Hope you enjoy them.
Bye

Take 2

2007-04-11T23:10:00.000-07:00

Ok that post from last night was pretty shit so I'll try and redeem myself here.

I just found this amazing Russian photographer: http://douart.ru/

I went to work today. For those who don't know, I work at a place that runs children's parties. I run the parties. I had a group of about 15 little boys aged 3-5 today. They were absolutely crazy. Running around bashing each other and chucking stuff everywhere.
It's weird to think that one day these kids will be the ones running our workplaces and countries. We'll probably end up working with them. They might even be our bosses.

I want kids. I would like two or three I think.
Two boys and a girl. Or two boys. Or two girls. Or two girls and a boy. I dunno, I'll love whatever I end up with.
I'd be lucky to get boys because there are so many boys names that I love, but not so many girls names. I like the names Cooper, and Hugo, and Sebastian.
Do you want kids?
What are your favourite names?

I dunno. I can't think of anything else I'd rather do with my life.
Dont get me wrong, I dont think badly of those who choose to not have kids. I do think badly of those who have kids and as soon as they're like a month old just chuck them into daycare from 8:00am-6:00pm and rush off to their corporate offices. I hate that. It's not so much that I dont like them as a person, I dont actually even know anyone who does this. It just makes me wonder y'know. Why would you bother having kids? If you're not going to spend the time with them and nuture them and love them and teach them everything and instead choose to pay someone else to do this for you.
It's the sort of life-altering thing that makes you have to alter your life. And if you can't willingly do that now then maybe you should wait until you're ready to.
Just a word of advice to anyone who reads this, please don't ever do this when/if you become a parent.

I want to be a teacher. An Art teacher in a high school to be precise. The main reason for this is because I love art, but don't want to be an artist myself. So maybe I'll be able to help some of the next generation of artists. Also it's quite a parent friendly job.
And you dont have to wear fancy clothes.
My art teacher this year is funny. He wears a suit and looks the epitomy of Not-Art-Teacher. But he is and he's pretty cool.
But do you ever notice that? Generally teachers tend to wear nice clothes and stuff...but the art teacher can get away with ripped jeans and colourful scarves and all sorts of fun things.

I have a basic plan for my life. What will be scary is if something happens and my plan falls apart.
Like if I dont get into a course that will get me into Art Teaching. Or if something happened and Matt and I were no longer together. Or if I found out I was infertile.
I'd have to completely reassess everything that I had ever thought I would do.

But enough about the future. Right now I'm going to go and melt some chocolate and do some maths (ergh..)

Goodbye
X

Just something to kick us off

2007-04-11T08:50:00.000-07:00

Well.
It's 1:50am and I am frickin tired. I dont know why I'm still awake and I dont know why I am lying here writing this stupid thing. But here we are I guess.

I don't have anything worth saying right now. I just wanted to make a quick little thing so that my page doesn't looks so empty and pathetic.

I feel a little sick. I went to Matt's house today and he has been sick for the past few days. I'd better not have caught what he had.

Here's an awesome site that I found the other day. It's full of all these regularly updated arty links and stuff. And not all just regular art too, there's furniture or technology designs or anything really.
www.notcot.com
OR
www.notcot.org
(same idea, different stuff or something)

I'll probably write more when my brain is funtioning and I actually have something worthwhile to say.

Goodnight
x